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25 October 2019 14:25It's a shame that Pagan belief paradigms are so inherently hostile to disabled people. I'm not sure what, if anything, can be done about it.
In the Rebellion, we have a slogan about climate change: "tell the truth - then act as if the truth is real". In other words, we all kinda "know" that pollution is bad and the climate is changing, and yet we all go about our day. We don't respond to "there are 64000 preventable deaths from air pollution in the UK every year" in a way which really hears and recognises that statistic as real: oh my goodness everything is poison and we have to make it stop.
Anyway, I was reminded of this slogan while feeling vaguely critical/superior about the wider Pagan community the sense that we do not act as if the gods are real. It's frustrating to me that the times in my life when I most need the support of my ancestors and spirits, I am least able to feed them or meet them in ritual. And it's well and good for us to say "I'm sure they understand! Take care of your health first!".
But is that true? Do they understand? I don't think there are many or any examples in our lore of a promised rite or gift being missed and the Good Folk saying "that's ok, we understand you've had a difficult month". Otherworld relationships are deeply reciprocal, rarely sentimental. Why should they expend their resources for us when we are not expending ours for them? If we believe the gods are real, and if we believe we are doing something real when we offer to them - something they need or deserve - then why would that not continue to be true when we are under the weather? Our lack of attention is a real lack. If I stop believing that my acts have power whenever it's convenient to me, then how genuine can my acts be in ritual and prayer when I do use them? If my dance and supplication to recall the sun from the underground at solstice can be neglected, then it becomes more of an observance or a party rather than a rite: I never had any real fear the sun would not return, and so any real meaning in future rites is lost.
Perhaps I'm making myself unhappy with this line of thought. Perhaps it is better to trust in a compassionate otherworld. There's suffering enough not to invent more for oneself. Still. I'm worried that being unable to do rites when I'm unwell undermines my own craft and self belief. I do feel the difference in my bones and awareness - if untended, my sense of the spiritual diminishes. The gifts of the infinite are conditional. They want something in return.
But oh! If only this were differently true; if only there were simple things I could do which felt sufficient and enough, so that when I felt weakest and called out I would be answered.
In the Rebellion, we have a slogan about climate change: "tell the truth - then act as if the truth is real". In other words, we all kinda "know" that pollution is bad and the climate is changing, and yet we all go about our day. We don't respond to "there are 64000 preventable deaths from air pollution in the UK every year" in a way which really hears and recognises that statistic as real: oh my goodness everything is poison and we have to make it stop.
Anyway, I was reminded of this slogan while feeling vaguely critical/superior about the wider Pagan community the sense that we do not act as if the gods are real. It's frustrating to me that the times in my life when I most need the support of my ancestors and spirits, I am least able to feed them or meet them in ritual. And it's well and good for us to say "I'm sure they understand! Take care of your health first!".
But is that true? Do they understand? I don't think there are many or any examples in our lore of a promised rite or gift being missed and the Good Folk saying "that's ok, we understand you've had a difficult month". Otherworld relationships are deeply reciprocal, rarely sentimental. Why should they expend their resources for us when we are not expending ours for them? If we believe the gods are real, and if we believe we are doing something real when we offer to them - something they need or deserve - then why would that not continue to be true when we are under the weather? Our lack of attention is a real lack. If I stop believing that my acts have power whenever it's convenient to me, then how genuine can my acts be in ritual and prayer when I do use them? If my dance and supplication to recall the sun from the underground at solstice can be neglected, then it becomes more of an observance or a party rather than a rite: I never had any real fear the sun would not return, and so any real meaning in future rites is lost.
Perhaps I'm making myself unhappy with this line of thought. Perhaps it is better to trust in a compassionate otherworld. There's suffering enough not to invent more for oneself. Still. I'm worried that being unable to do rites when I'm unwell undermines my own craft and self belief. I do feel the difference in my bones and awareness - if untended, my sense of the spiritual diminishes. The gifts of the infinite are conditional. They want something in return.
But oh! If only this were differently true; if only there were simple things I could do which felt sufficient and enough, so that when I felt weakest and called out I would be answered.
