haptalaon: A calming cup of tea beside an open book (Default)

isn't Helplessness Blues by Fleet Foxes just. the most millennial song. I've not heard it in about 10 years, and it's great, and also nobody in the band turned out to be a posh kid slumming it with a ukelele on the cusp of right wing extremism, and that's also a plus one. It's so lovely, folky wall of sound, a reassuring album.



(i've tagged it for Solar, I think it expresses an awful lot of that: the yearning to just work in a little orchard, the exhausted desire to be 'a functioning cog in some great machinery serving something beyond me', unformed feelings about men in dimly lit halls taking life out of your control. It's twee pastoralism, but not in a 1960s way. It could only have been written in 2011. Music about dropping out for people who won't actually do it.)



(I hope the boy i was dating in 2011 is doing ok. he maybe kinda sleepwalked into a job destabilising global democracy a bit then dumped me to flee the country, which puts the yearning of this album we loved together into a different light; I hope he's sleeping untroubled in an orchard somewhere, lovely fool. 🛹Liberalism isn't cool, kids! Don't try it! Just say 'no way!'🛹)






In activism, the concept of a Security Culture is little practices and habits which make everybody safer if done collectively. A strong security culture, paradoxically, means you can all spend less time thinking about security.



An example of Security Culture is 1. never disclosing the specifics of actions which you have been involved in or might be involved in in future, and 2. never asking other people to disclose it - unless its very clearly a situation where this is relevant. Or, never disclosing who is in charge (or better still, having a flat or mysterious organising structure in which people literally don't know. It's so socially normal that if someone asks 'who's in charge here?' , everyone knows to say 'idk mate' and more importantly, everyone is alert that this is NOT an appropriate question.



By doing this, you don't need to worry so much about police infiltrator on a day-to-day basis, and that's good because paranoia can rip movements apart and also kinda bums you out. Everyone should be alert and on the watch for tells, and some people should be doing active security research, but a consensus on Security Culture makes those tells easier to pick up, and if you do it well, it forms a kind of shield wall. Cops can come to your events (and they will!) but they won't get through it.



I'm thinking about this in the context of 'policing the borders of Pagan culture for far right extremism' - which our movement does incubate and attract, unfortunately. & it makes everyone paranoid and rips communities apart and it bums you out. I wonder if adapting the mindset of Security Culture is an route for managing the problem, while minimising harm. Because the things you have to do to protect your borders, in and of themselves can poison the thing you're protecting.



I suppose in practice, this doesn't look any different to what we're already doing: teaching one another a model for appropriate and inappropriate behaviour, because the more eyes on the problem who can hear a dog's whistle, the more swiftly we can say 'lol nope' and close ranks on ideas and people that want to take us nowhere good.



I think the appeal of Security Culture specifically is that it takes some of the emotion out of it? You don't need to be in a place of anger, hurt, frustration, or even reasoning with people on a interpersonal basis (letting them get close enough to do hurt and destruction in the process of evaluating who they really are). You have firm operating procedures, and you back one another up by doing them, and when it becomes automatic you're almost not thinking about it - not wasting emotional and practical energy on it. Because wasting your time and your emotions and causing disruption is, in and of itself, a win for infiltrators. So the less of that you can give to a hostile actor, the better.

haptalaon: A calming cup of tea beside an open book (Default)

Another thing wrt 'if only Pagans put money into infrastructure' is that other religions are shit.



you don't get the building on the high street and the semenary and the bishops and the after school classes and the members of parliament and the little cult village in the middle of nowhere and children being raised in the spirit without the horrors of organised faith.



A religious movement with essentially no worldly power means a religious movement which can do no harm. No unjust laws, no wars, no exploitation of people and land, no forced conversions, abuse of children, 'Jesus came to me and said I need a Lear Jet', no exploiting lonely housewives. In that, I am proud to be Pagan; but it's only through lack of opportunity.



For sure, there are people who do interpersonal harm through paganism; but that should be a lesson against desiring our structures are make bigger - because ultimately the harm we can do is limited to, say, one abuser dominating a coven. But you can just leave. Leaving abuse is never easy, but it's easier when all you have to do is stop going round her house and blocking her calls.



(And even within the limited power our movement has, one harm we should take accountability for is dodgy health bullshit - something that is disseminated by us/in our name)



One way to understand pretty much every decision made in Pagan-Occult-NewAge-Polytheist religions is, as a reaction against Christianity. The answer to 'why do we do things like this?' is frequently 'because I grew up in an ambient religious culture which horrified me'. At the same time, Christianity is also where we learned to do religion - what religion 'ought' to look like. We have to do a lot of unlearning to get into the mindset of like, what does a Viking spiritual life look like, what about that is culturally distinct.



So there's a tension here, of trying to escape a thing you also crave.



(speaking only for myself, I do feel very envious of the glassy-eyed evangelical interpersonal networks, the vision of vanishing inside your religious world into these intergenerational community spaces which become a life within a wider life; like, I want to live at the Three Wives One Husband village. I've seen that documentary so many times. I completely buy into the fantasy of what that community is.



but I stop myself because jesus, you know? I know those environments are nightmares and do nightmare harm, especially to young people. Is that really what we want? Are we so naive to think it wouldn't just be all that plus herbs?



In these times, I try to reflect that what I am longing for is wholeness for other voids in my life, which I imagine meeting through faith, but which actually have nothing to do with the spiritual at all. And historically, this is how they get you. In that sense, I guess I'm pretty lucky I found Satan before some motivated organisation invited me to find Jesus, because I sense that vulnerability within me. Could it be a good thing that Paganism does not have these structures? We must all auto-recruit.)



When I was putting together my Lammastide mix, I was surprised by how repelled I felt by some of the songs I found (I'm thinking especially of Lisa Thiel's Lammas) because they just feel so...Jesusy...but you can't blame people for wanting the kinds of comforts and structures they grew up expecting. In a way, I'm reminded of gay marriage. You can deconstruct patriarchal institutions with your voice by day, and yet long for the big white dress in your heart at night - it's not and never was for you, and still you want to make it yours. Pagans at Christmas is another example.



so yeah, I think it's right to remain a counter-cultural faith, and not long too deeply for worldly bonds; why should we want to be within a world that's Like That, and when we know the evils all faiths create when given the power to do so.





(when I discussed this with my husband, he also noted that Christianity accomplishes these things because of the high level of integral coercive control. You are at risk of eternal damnation, and to avoid it you need advice from a specialist. This is highly motivating. Can we deliver that level of motivation without the threat?)

haptalaon: A calming cup of tea beside an open book (Default)
I'm spending more time on the internet of 10 years ago, replacing my social media browsing time with digging into old pagan blogs - so many of them, gems. Whenever I come across a good article, I save it under a topic & I'll put up that webpage on my site when I'm ready.

I've got together a little cluster of blog posts on Should We Pay Our Clergy, with a whole range of perspectives, so I'm going to share those now - and under the cut, some of my own thoughts on this (tl;dr no we shouldn't)

Debates around Pagan Clergy



haptalaon: A calming cup of tea beside an open book (Default)
You know, I feel like I half-write then delete this post every month, so if you've seen me actually get around to posting it then I'm sorry...

But I hate how the two personae which get you follows on social media are 1. posting bold, slightly combatative statements on the discourse of the day, or 2. vastly overstating your personal magical competence while trying to sell things.

Folk tell me that social media is a "real place" where you can "meet" people; but it's set up to reward certain kinds of behaviour, and because that reward is so specific, it turns into performing behaviour. It's actually pretty hard to find people on twitter, say, who are just...sharing what they do, without grandstanding; who give off the energy of the person you happen to be sat next to at a moot, and get chatting to.

It's such a bad environment of gathering a group of your peers, who you can mutually support on a peer-to-peer basis, & it makes me feel like I'm hanging out in a shopping mall where everyone's pretending to be friendly but only as a pretext to selling you something.

I think about what I like to do at social gatherings - the washing up - as a way to passively give back to the space, without centering myself within it; and I think about the kinds of chance encounters you get in person too, just being in a room of 20 people and chit-chatting with a handful of them and maybe making a connection. I try and think what the internet equivalent of doing the washing up is, what one would do on twitter to signal a desire to build a space collaboratively with others.

(I think, absent-mindedly, about BDSM spaces, and the etiquette that you may be a dom, but you are not *my* dom, and someone coming into your space and expecting a hierarchical relationship with you is rude; and then I consider the twitters I come across that are made up of people barking instructions, basically, either the discourse flavoured "barking instructions about morality" or the guru flavoured "barking instructions about what the Gods like", and in both cases it leaves a sour taste, a sense of the un-negotiated.)

I don't really want to create Content, or even consume it really; I don't want to misrepresent my skill or maturity as a pagan, which I know sounds daft given that i have Founded A Religion, but those writings are more for me than other readers and I am just not willing to my spirituality into advertising; I don't want to compete, I certainly don't want to fight, and I don't want to create a sense of the hierarchical - that I know better than others or am more important than them; I do want to learn and meet people.

& ultimately it's a case of choosing the right tool for the right task: modern social media is just incapable of creating non-hierarchical hangout spaces. I can't find the thing I'm looking for on twitter, and that's ok. No one is at fault, but twitter is wrong for what I'm looking for.

All the same, I do feel perpetually sour about it; because, unwillingly, so much of my life ends up being online due to a lack of other opportunities, and so to surface on twitter in order to chill and look at photos and pick up ideas, only to be barraged by the esoteric shopping channel, it just bums me out.
haptalaon: A calming cup of tea beside an open book (Default)
British followers!

The Pagan Federation are running a campaign to try and get more national recognition, and asking people to respond to the census as "pagan"  (as opposed to any other microlabel that someone might use), in the hope we'll form a sufficiently large and visible block. Please spread around your networks:

https://www.paganfed.org/census-2021/?fbclid=IwAR0eRAmF0XvKPPJJEHWASrDsFxSoaLTc3L9FP4NB0yBc2VXHlGavu6I0z3Y

haptalaon: A calming cup of tea beside an open book (Default)
The bliss of people asking you questions about what you're working on, and that being the key that triggers new insights
haptalaon: A calming cup of tea beside an open book (Default)
He Wants to Save Classics From Whiteness. Can the Field Survive?

Really good read, but especially of interest to Greek/Roman reconstructionists.

The classics are often implicated in "Western Civilisation" myths promoted by contemporary fascist sorts, as a kind of creation myth; the article also discusses how bringing non-white frameworks to the Classics can enhance our understanding of them (for example, understanding them as slave cultures; or, focusing more on how Greece & Rome interacted with Middle East and Africa)

In short, worth your time & reflection.






haptalaon: A calming cup of tea beside an open book (Default)
When someone asks you out of the blue to teach at their online academy and you're like, SURE that's awesome, I support the concept of infrastructure and better clergy training, but also...do students pay? What does your shop fund? Do I have to agree with the tenets of your path (because I don't)? Does working with you prevent me releasing my teaching for free? How do you feel about me teaching under my own label of what I'm trying to grow? Here's what I know about - are any of these of interest? How long have you been running this? Who else is involved?

Then *crickets*

I'm happy to trade my labour for all sorts of things, including warm feelings and the knowledge that I'm growing community and building a sharing community, but "basic information" is as cheap as I'll go.
haptalaon: A calming cup of tea beside an open book (Default)
I think there's a relationship here to geek culture. I've been in a lot of geek scenes, and you'll meet rhe same 30 people once a week for four years  but somehow never get past the acquaintance level with any of them. Geeks competitively talk over one another with esoteric geek knowledge. It's tiring to be around and a shallow way to relate.

(I don't like the term "mansplaining" because, if you notice, it's not a thing men "do" to women. It's just how men talk. It's not how women talk, so when men talk to women there's a discomfort there which starts from mismatched expectations of what conversations are for. But if you ever see two men speak, they both mansplain *constantly* at each other.)

And geek subcultures are especially Like That. One doesn't really talk to people or listen; one takes it in turn to repeat ever more obscure factoids or meme banter which doesn't really add up to friendship. I asked my husband about this, and he agreed and advised that the best way to deal with this dynamic? Was to win.

Anyway,  I feel like the same factors cause this behavior to come up in both geek agreed and pagan spaces -outsiders who haven't got got a lot of traditional success markers, but who can compete by having exclusive knowledge etc. You can't win at football, but you can win at knowing the most about Batman. And maybe a certain lack of comfort with people or emotions which make deeper connections difficult. The term Geeksplain has been used, and I think it's an excellent one - Person A explaining something to Person B, without/despite knowing if Person B already has expertise on this subject.

I don't want to win. I dont want to participate. I...dont want that to be the dynamic, because for so many years in geek circles I know that leads to a very shallow, vapid level of friendship, very disposable acquaintances who you can meet for years and know nothing about.

So I've been trying to use my skills to draw people into deeper engagement. questions like, what is their favourite book or animal, or what first got you into Paganism - not your magical CV, but what was that tingle in the spine longing which drew you here. To try and jolt out of that dynamic, and into something interpersonal, a foundation. Until then, though, I'm a little depressed at the prospect of more "men explain things to me" afternoons out.
haptalaon: A calming cup of tea beside an open book (Default)
But'm really liking how the Rebellion organises, using Self Organising Systems - it's a blend of totally decentralised and totally hierarchical organising.

We don't have leaders, but we do have facilitators who have a mandate to manage meetings. We have a shared set of values - the 10 Principles - and goals - the Three Demands. We're self reliant and take responsibility for ourselves: if we want to do something for the Rebellion, we just get on and do it - so long as it serves the demands and principles.

We have Working Groups, each one with a mandate to take care of a certain area: for example, Arts or Lobbying or Media. A mandate is a kind of job description, describing what they do - and if you have a mandate, you have complete responsibility for that area. No one takes it away from you or tells you you're doing it wrong; if you want to criticise Arts, you have to be part of the Arts group, or else you accept what has been done. Working Groups have an Internal and External coordinator , and these roles rotate every six months so no one takes ownership of them. Internal basically project manages the WG  and External communicates with other Ext Coordinators so everyone is working across teams.

Everyone else is arranged into Affinity Groups. These are eight to twelve people, who sttend protests together. Specifically, they do direct action together: this is a kind of activism which might include hunger strikes, street performance, blocking a road, doing graffiti, or so on; or they attend attend protest together as, say, a samba band, or a first aid street medic team etc. Affinity Groups have trust and have shared values - for example, people willing to take very arrestable actions should be in AGs together, so they're on the same page. AGs have an External coordinator each, and someone from Central has their number so they can be deployed quickly. For example, if you need to set up a canteen at a protest site, you find an affinity group: a set of attendees who already work well together and have the numbers. The Ext Coord isn't the leader, they just pas messages between groups.

I believe in this system. It think it's brill, and makes the community work - focused (we don't have a leader, but we do have people with responsibilities for tasks)

And I feel it would work well for a Pagan community. Affinity Groups are about the size of a coven - you might have two or six or fifteen covens, each with their own flavour and history, attached through their Ext Coord to the local hub. They work autonomously, and yet can come together when required - and also cross promote. Affinity Groups are, at the end of the day, just are bunch of mates - and that's the reality of of a lot of Pagan groups, I think, too. In your community you might have some AGs who were pub buddy pagans, and others who were super hardcore technical magicians.

And then you have Working Groups for people willing to give a bit more time. What WGs would a Pagan community need? It's less clear. You'd probably want a Media one at the very least, for press releases; and maybe a Tech one for the website and social media.  I think you'd set up a Teaching WG, who did a basic six month or twelve month "year and a day" standards, and that course might involve talks from the AGs introducing the different flavours of Paganism in the community, and that course would have pathways into more specific trainings done by any covens seeking members. You might want a music WG or a craftsman's WG, depending on your membership; possibly also one for magical skills, if there were members who were celebrants or so on. It would kind of depend on what the local group really "needed": if you had a site or building, you'd need a WG to manage it; if you had a library, you'd need a library WG; if you took subs,  you'd need a Finance group and so on.

Some of the benefits include -
  • a wider community, which is connected together by values and friendship but not by practices.
  • Some formalisation of the kinds of processes which exist in community anyway. But maybe that formalisation would help there be a more service minded and communal approach to each other, rather than an extractive or competitive one based around whose book sells or who has what title.
  • The psychological benefits of having Joined Something - benefits to both the person and the community,  benefits which are greater than merely following a Facebook page or other activities which give you no stake in the group's welfare.
  • And if one fell out of a particular practice  in this model represented by an Affinity Group, you'd still be part of the whole even if you joined a different one.
  • You'd get the benefits of of a larger membership (more resources, more skills), but also of the small specialised units (individualism, quirky magic, expertise in niche areas)
  • No Grand Poobah reduces pressure on an individual, and competition around who should be it; no power vaccum created by their absence.
  • Flat system rather than hierarchical - you might move into around different Group or WG and learn *more* things or *different* things, but never *better* things
haptalaon: A calming cup of tea beside an open book (Default)
I think what im writing about today is the idea that hierarchical systems come out of mainstream society, they're comfortable and familiar to people - but are applied to Paganism in a way which just...won't...work, because those drawn to paganism are already outsiders who are more likely to crave individualism, freedom and so forth.

The original druids in lore were imagined to work like the Roman senate, and then like an English priesthood; Murray imagined the witches as meeting in tiny cells linked into a wider organisation; occult groups often borrow the language and imagery of universities. These are models which are intuitive and familiar.

But they're imposed on Pagans from outside: these are people imagining what witches do, or setting up their own group nd using a familiar model for how to structure it. They're not responsive. They don't look at the participants of a Pagan group, and decide retroactively what model suits and matches their demographic.

I think if we did that, our standard group designs would look very different. Ideas like having a single fixed priest make no sense when we can all be our own priest, and choosing one person to channel the Goddess (or whatever) makes no sense when we all have our spirit guides, and so on. A system which is inherently set up to say - we are a community of individuals, and we meet in these ways for these reasons, and the ways and the reasons echo our understanding of a group that brings together a group of individuals as equals.

We all want what hierarchical, tradition Paganism seems to promise  - the idea od having a lineage and being part of a Real group and so on.  But very few of us seem prepared for the reality of that, like -do you accept someone as a spiritual authority?  what happens when you disagree with this person? What happens when the office is passed to the wrong successor? Do yoy have a belief in that hierarchy, in that structure, or do you go off and do your own thing instead? Most people, I think, have this "choice capitalism" mindset where a community or religion which isn't working can easily be replaced with an alternative.  and I don't want to trash that idea, because obviously you need to leave religions and communities which are dangerous, and why would you stay in one shih made you unhappy? But if it can be picked up and dropped so easily, it's not really community or religion. And it's that shallowness of engagement which I encounter a lot in Paganism, and which I guess I want to act against. I don't know many Pagans who would practice in secret under a repressive regime, for example, or risk prison; perhaps this is good, we're tricksters and survivors who reject the ways thst other religions harm their followers. Perhaps it's because...most Pagans just don't seem to believe that deeply or strongly that...the gods are real, and present, and not a figment of imagination or something which exist to serve our personal journey of self-actualisation.

I think we have to design membership structures around the people we tend to get, and find ways to create community which doesn't require Pagans to wholesale change their behavior and attitude to life. Design the community for the people, and it won't be at odds with their values.
haptalaon: A calming cup of tea beside an open book (Default)
Equinox was an odd one. I joined a group gathered by the sea, and had a day of casual ritual interspersed with trips to the café for beer and ice cream, then more bimbling in various groups around the sands,  then more ritual, more beer. It was a nice day, but also difficult. It's a lot of new faces all at once, and they're...very hard to talk to. I didn't have anyone ask who I was or anything about me all day, but I had a lot of people explain their magical insights to me, or overhear people doing this to others. We happened to be at the site by the beach at the same time as another group, who were doing a dragon weekend workshop; I was somewhat irritated by their presence because 80% of the dragon festival seemed to be stalls where you could buy things. Beautiful things, some of them exquisite, all from craftspeople in our community, and yet - can I please have one day of a year when no one is trying to sell me things. Anyway, every time I passed the tables in the cage with dragon people on it, each table had one person speaking at length about their magical insights too.

It's an odd dynamic. Both being sold things and being told things. I had one proper conversation all day, although I spoke with many people. Perhaps this will improve in time, as I know more people; or I will mind it less. I did try to listen a lot, and use my active listening skills - but that's not, perhaps, the approach one should bring to ones friends - it's a slightly mechanical skillset I have from work and trauma, making other people feel comfortable and heard, not genuine connection but a convincing facimile of it. And yet, I'm not sure how else to respond when someone begin explaining their experirence with dragon souls at length, besides politely listening. It's not a dynamic which seems to demand much of me in terms of responses or engagement besides listening and tacitly agreeing, and like..I suppose I can provide that, I'm very good at humouring men of a certain age and making them feel like the center of the world (as if they need much encouragement).

But like long term, I kinda want more from community and my engagement with people in it than this. It's alienating, and I feel like all I can do is model the behaviour I'd like to see - rather than participate, which I'm fully capable of doing, with the explaining magical esoterica and personal insights at tired listeners. But modeling a behaviour of listening and presence and trying to ask questions is a form of work, I guess, it requires a "work like" mentality and skill set, and that's not quite home yet.

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Haptalaon

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