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31 August 2020 19:00One of the things you realise when you're developing an ideosyncratic spiritual system that's increasingly difficult to communicate to others is, how much you want to sit Gerald Gardener, Alesteir Crowley, the Buddha and Jesus down for eight hours and hear it from them direct, what they were trying to communicate; that whatever has come down to us is necessarily thin and incomplete and all flattened out, losing all its irregularities and oddities.
I'm reading about scuba horror stories, and it's reminding me I need to write about the colours, and specifically about the way that colours vanish underwater, and that's why colours like red are where they are on the map because some of the colours on the map aren't clearly nameable, they're not like hex codes or pantone shades, they're more like colour *processes*, like the colours of the LunarStellar path are quite specifically "that colour when you sink into the ocean, and not only does it become darker, from light towards black, but also the colours drain away - starting with red - and that's why red is associated with the Sun; and the Stellar colours aren't "blue and green" in any way you understand, but specifically the dull and lightless muggy shades of blue and green which seem to have immense weight to them, and the sensation of being enveloped by them"
And then you read it back, and it sounds a little bit like bollocks, and a lot like the sort of insight you only hit upon if you spend a lot of time imagining what it must be like to drown; same too, with the understanding I have - the crystal clear understanding - that the depths of the oceans and the tops of mountains are the same place, spiritually speaking.
And then you times that by *everything*, and it makes you think a lot about a concept like doctrine or faith, the impossibility that we could ever use a word like "god" and mean quite the same thing.
I'm reading about scuba horror stories, and it's reminding me I need to write about the colours, and specifically about the way that colours vanish underwater, and that's why colours like red are where they are on the map because some of the colours on the map aren't clearly nameable, they're not like hex codes or pantone shades, they're more like colour *processes*, like the colours of the LunarStellar path are quite specifically "that colour when you sink into the ocean, and not only does it become darker, from light towards black, but also the colours drain away - starting with red - and that's why red is associated with the Sun; and the Stellar colours aren't "blue and green" in any way you understand, but specifically the dull and lightless muggy shades of blue and green which seem to have immense weight to them, and the sensation of being enveloped by them"
And then you read it back, and it sounds a little bit like bollocks, and a lot like the sort of insight you only hit upon if you spend a lot of time imagining what it must be like to drown; same too, with the understanding I have - the crystal clear understanding - that the depths of the oceans and the tops of mountains are the same place, spiritually speaking.
And then you times that by *everything*, and it makes you think a lot about a concept like doctrine or faith, the impossibility that we could ever use a word like "god" and mean quite the same thing.
