(no subject)
22 May 2020 15:15![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
haptalaonOh gods, I've been back on tumblr for like five minutes (to try and drum up a Following and a Presence and be Known as a Thing, and also to source out more good imagery), and my stress level is through the roof. I don't really know how else to reach out to people who might be looking for what I'm creating & have energy and ideas to bring to this kind of current.
Like, it's kinda working, but I hate it. I can't even face opening the tab to look. I don't know what it is about tumblr pagan community that gives me the willies and feels so hostile, so very threatening and transactional, even when it's just a damn image board for sharing pretty pictures that's perfect for trying to Curate A Mood with. But the experience of broadcasting to an infinity of strangers is scary, and it feels exposing.
It doesn't feel like the dynamic of standing on a platform speaking to people who have chosen to attend my lecture, as my blog does; nor does it feel like the dynamic of chatting in your own kitchen while a bunch of friends who are staying over just mill about and drink tea and half-listen to what you're saying, like Dreamwidth does. It feels like being in the centre of a mob, who are at present standing in silence and looking intently, poised to respond.
Like, it's kinda working, but I hate it. I can't even face opening the tab to look. I don't know what it is about tumblr pagan community that gives me the willies and feels so hostile, so very threatening and transactional, even when it's just a damn image board for sharing pretty pictures that's perfect for trying to Curate A Mood with. But the experience of broadcasting to an infinity of strangers is scary, and it feels exposing.
It doesn't feel like the dynamic of standing on a platform speaking to people who have chosen to attend my lecture, as my blog does; nor does it feel like the dynamic of chatting in your own kitchen while a bunch of friends who are staying over just mill about and drink tea and half-listen to what you're saying, like Dreamwidth does. It feels like being in the centre of a mob, who are at present standing in silence and looking intently, poised to respond.
