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haptalaonThere's a "Secondary Partner's Bill of Rights" lurking on the Web attempting to combat some of these issues, and I think that's the kind of thing that would be reassuring in a coven context.
Every one of these things I've poked my nose into so far has sent me a long application form and agreement to sign after a first enquiry, and I think my preference would be thst each time I sign one, my opposite number also signs one.
Ie if I have accepted the rights and responsibilities thst come with initial group training, I also have a document with the commitment the group is making to me.
That commitment could be any thing:
"When you complete the initial probation, we will:
* accept you into the coven automatically
* give you a certificate and a login to our member network to find an affiliated coven
* grade your work and consider entry
* send yoy information about the next stage of the application process"
Etc etc etc. I guess it's trying to put an uncertain interpersonal process on more of an equal and certain footing, and making explicit the ways in which a seeker is auditioning for a group as much as the other way around. One thing that kept me sane when doing unicorning was trying to see myself and my time as valuable, as important, and a process in which I could afford to be patient and picky.
The groupwork thing is inherently one where the balance of power to accept or reject is with the group, never something which I'll feel very comfortable with due to the aforementioned ego. But I guess something showing the group was self aware about this, and also had a clear procedure rather than being at the whims of some rando on a power kick. Idk.
Every one of these things I've poked my nose into so far has sent me a long application form and agreement to sign after a first enquiry, and I think my preference would be thst each time I sign one, my opposite number also signs one.
Ie if I have accepted the rights and responsibilities thst come with initial group training, I also have a document with the commitment the group is making to me.
That commitment could be any thing:
"When you complete the initial probation, we will:
* accept you into the coven automatically
* give you a certificate and a login to our member network to find an affiliated coven
* grade your work and consider entry
* send yoy information about the next stage of the application process"
Etc etc etc. I guess it's trying to put an uncertain interpersonal process on more of an equal and certain footing, and making explicit the ways in which a seeker is auditioning for a group as much as the other way around. One thing that kept me sane when doing unicorning was trying to see myself and my time as valuable, as important, and a process in which I could afford to be patient and picky.
The groupwork thing is inherently one where the balance of power to accept or reject is with the group, never something which I'll feel very comfortable with due to the aforementioned ego. But I guess something showing the group was self aware about this, and also had a clear procedure rather than being at the whims of some rando on a power kick. Idk.
