(no subject)
5 September 2018 16:40![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
haptalaonI think I have the advantages of self-awareness - perhaps too much self-awareness - about the moral weight of claiming authority.
Perhaps this drives my desire to claim it "correctly", to have a clear pathway by which such a thing can be earned, so that I can reassure myself that I am doing it by the book, for the right reasons, and have stages at which I can "fail" if I am not worthy. A check on power.
And a desire for those around me to similarly have a meaningful check. So if I were to enter into this as a lay member, I could see some form of reassuring badge or certificate or initiatory stage which would confirm these things in another person.
As if that was enough, as if it could ever be enough, and work the way I wish it could
(even though numerous Christian groups have proved again, and again, and again, that this kind of formal process is meaningless and easy to cheat, and even acts as a cover for abuses of all kinds)
Perhaps this drives my desire to claim it "correctly", to have a clear pathway by which such a thing can be earned, so that I can reassure myself that I am doing it by the book, for the right reasons, and have stages at which I can "fail" if I am not worthy. A check on power.
And a desire for those around me to similarly have a meaningful check. So if I were to enter into this as a lay member, I could see some form of reassuring badge or certificate or initiatory stage which would confirm these things in another person.
As if that was enough, as if it could ever be enough, and work the way I wish it could
(even though numerous Christian groups have proved again, and again, and again, that this kind of formal process is meaningless and easy to cheat, and even acts as a cover for abuses of all kinds)
