(no subject)
29 September 2019 10:46![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
I struggle to concentrate when there's a second person in the house; it's like a kind of chaos static distorting everything. I can't concentrate; I'm unable to do anything or start anything, like I'm waiting to hook onto their actions or hide when required.
I've wondered before if I'm like, "sensitive" or whatever, and if this isn't a problem I could solve with better grounding and shielding. Mostly, I assumed, it's a neurodivergence problem, my necessary patterns being tripped and disrupted by the presence of a second pattern.
My beloved has just started taking anti-depressants. Last night he was making dinner, and he suddenly vanished. There was a silence and stillness in the house. I had to call him over, just to check he was still there. He was, kinda. But that noise had gone. And the same is true this morning. It is f a n t a s t I c, and clearly also terrible because he's not happy taking them, and because I can sense a huge part of his mind has just been switched off. But somehow, imperceptibly, it's the part of his mind that's been disrupting mine. I can't even begin to understand what is happening here, without recourse to a magical explanation.
I've wondered before if I'm like, "sensitive" or whatever, and if this isn't a problem I could solve with better grounding and shielding. Mostly, I assumed, it's a neurodivergence problem, my necessary patterns being tripped and disrupted by the presence of a second pattern.
My beloved has just started taking anti-depressants. Last night he was making dinner, and he suddenly vanished. There was a silence and stillness in the house. I had to call him over, just to check he was still there. He was, kinda. But that noise had gone. And the same is true this morning. It is f a n t a s t I c, and clearly also terrible because he's not happy taking them, and because I can sense a huge part of his mind has just been switched off. But somehow, imperceptibly, it's the part of his mind that's been disrupting mine. I can't even begin to understand what is happening here, without recourse to a magical explanation.
no subject
Date: 1 October 2019 09:08 (UTC)I've always assumed it's a neurological thing, whether ADHD, emotional abuse history, introversion; it could be interpreted as part of any of those things.
no subject
Date: 5 October 2019 13:24 (UTC)Or at least, it was for me. I can finally focus on something other that not-existing for a change. While I think it's easy - especially in pagan circles, which tend toward viewing the medical establishment with distrust - to see taking medication as a "giving up". It's not giving up, it's a relief for me. Though I had to overcome the idea that taking medication was "cheating" somehow.